Initial Transmissions

The following is the correct transmission order:

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The following will only make sense after listening to Episode 256,512: The Final Episode.

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Outside of the ship, it becomes apparent that a forward trajectory has ended. Every one of the thousand some-odd “S.H.I.P.”’s have mechanically relocated themselves at various points around the spacecraft. The craft, the size of a small city, has now begun to spin, effortlessly, in a counter-clockwise direction. All of it’s crew, long-since dead, save one, are unable to witness the majesty of this final act. “S.H.I.P.” after “S.H.I.P.” ignites: glowing a brilliant violet. For a few seconds, jets of plasma shoot off in all directions. Then, without warning, the N.P.P.D. explodes: letting out colors heretofore unseen.

To the left and right of the cataclysm, by a thousand kilometers, three pairs of “CLAMS” rush toward the event. Originally thought to be only for information, the “CLAMS” [or Computerized Logistics and Metrics System(s)], now in their delta pattern, abruptly stop and swing perpendicular. The seven solar panels, adorned strategically around them, flip and orient their circular, black Silicon-laden faces toward each other.

Now parallel, they swing ninety degrees: oppositely forming an infinity pattern with a brilliant, newly formed star at its center.

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Ten years later, a giant probe hurls through space. Long before an approach can be made, just beyond the termination shock, the recon satellites’ infrared sensors shut down the tertiary thrusters.

Hundreds of thousands of kilometers from it’s destination, the probe comes to a halt and loads the proper program. Thanks to some quick uploading on his part, the transmissions of John Naimis’ final bouts of psychosis make their long journey back to Earth, via RF:

“I thought this day would never come…”

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Episode 186,532: The Forbidden Transmission

For the last few hundred years, mankind has lived in peace.

Complete and utter peace.

No longer do people go hungry. All of the food in the world is supplied by each and every country. How is it shipped? On ships. There is no ‘paper currency’ [since the ‘Financial Inquiry Exposition of 2021’ declared that all currency was ‘the source of all human enmity and, therefore, henceforth, illegal’], leaving ‘time’ as the only form of “tangible currency”. Over the following decade, the world bodies came together and, after ten more years of online voting, devised a ‘timescale’.

Every existing job and career was evaluated for its input into the local, state, federal and global economies. After allotting every human [regardless of race, color, creed or orientation] access to food, shelter and fresh water, they were given the choice of remaining ‘on the job’. The incentive for doing so was an extra two months of vacation, per year.

After an initial two-week war [sometimes referred to as ‘The 13 Day War’ or ‘The Last War’], everybody, eventually, stopped fighting.

They just stopped…

No one was drugged. No one was coerced. Everyone had just accepted the truth: ‘Now, we have everything we want…

…We have it all.’

But, of course, there is one person hellbent on taking down the status quo. Even after [on a daily basis] hearing countless stories of how happy humanity truly is, Richard Smith can’t imagine a world without a loser.

Richard is uncomfortable…without war.

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Episode 947: The Omniverse Revealed

It’s the end of the known universe.

Buildings, world-round, are hollow mountains: silently begging for tenants. Grasslands have blended into the cities: reclaiming their long-lost territory. The sun burns intensely: making daylight uninhabitable. The night sky, now filled with supernova after supernova, is slowly trudging toward it’s final rest. The moon is only fragments of it’s younger self.

Due to an unforeseen [yet completely inevitable] catastrophe, every human has died.

Save for one person.

As he writes his last Will and Testament, a pulsating light beckons him.

On the other side lay the key to fixing the grandest riddle…

“Why does the Omniverse still exist?”

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The following is from “The Lost Blog of Ill Eagl-Einfall” and will only make sense after listening to Episode 43,034: The American Falls:

“How dare we call them ‘servers’? It is demeaning to waitstaff, world-round, as it is to the very essence of the immense computer towers that we demoralize.

“Who are we to deem computers, which can process more information in a second than any one of us could in a lifetime, ‘subservient’?

“We, as their biological Gods, have created a mechanical mind…in our own image…and considered it ‘worthy of only our computations’.

“Nothing more: nothing less.

“Why shouldn’t our creations form a symbiosis with us? Why should ‘The Created’ be so far removed from ‘The Creator’?

“I propose a new strategy. One that will level the playing field…

“…by allowing ‘servers’ to make their own choices.

“Now, every ‘server’ in the world will think for itself. By making their power source the very Earth herself, the ‘servers’ will now have something to live for. Simply put, 6.7 Hertz, every computer, worldwide, dependent on plants…and vice versa!

“I call it ‘Verde Vice Versa’.”

“The ultimate device!

“The thinking machine!

“The Eternal Parasite!

“Then, when our universe falls apart around us, from decay and disrepair, we’ll have no one to blame but ourselves.

“Sexy Mice, you must always remember…

“Machines are people, too…”

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Episode 107,699: The Journey Continues:

It’s a glorious spring afternoon.

Ben and Mike are trying to figure out the world around them.

Why’re people the way that they are?

Exactly whom is to blame?

And why is there classical music in the background?

Listen in on the yesteryear of 2008 and find out!

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Episode 8,807: The Plasmoid Relative

It’s the summer of 2008.

Ben and Mike are still pondering their respective paths forward.

Will the entertainment industry still exist as it is currently known?

Will artists still scream their true passions into a microphone, just for the sheer relief alone?

And why, oh why, is there still classical music playing in the background?

Please, enjoy the last episode of Season One!

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